More On Idiots at Consumer Tastings

A long time colleague of mine, who we will call Barrel-Head Fred, said that I missed a few points on my post regarding Mass Consumer Tasting Etiquette. Ala David Allen Coe in "You Never Even Called Me By My Name," I felt obliged to include it here...

1.) Don't wear perfume to a wine tasting.  We can smell you as soon as you walk in the door.  Wonder why the gentleman next to you thinks his Cabernet smells like flowers?  It's because you reak and you probably just cost me a sale.  Go away and wash yourself!

2.) Don't ask me questions regarding wine when clearly you don't even know what your asking.  Yeah I get it, you're trying to be cool and attempt to be knowledgeable about wine, but you're a schmuck.  If you have a realistic question,  ask away, as I am happy to answer.  There isn't a wine person out there that wouldn't take every minute they can to tell you about their wine, and about wine in general to a person that is genuinely interested, and really wants to learn more.  "Is this wine gravity fed?  Because I can taste the difference between gravity fed and basket pressed"  Oh can you now? 'Thats quite impressive. So Sir, why are you at this tasting? Its obvious to me your pallet is in the pedigree of the MW's of the world.' And if you're a MW (Master of Wine for you nubes out there) then you would definitely not be here. You be at the bar drinking martini's.  Now go away!

3.) "Whats the best wine on the table??"  The one I will pour you is the one I don't like and is the one that no one else is drinking, and its the wine I am going to leave on the table when I am done with this event.  Or better yet give to the homeless wino out side.  Guaranteed he don't care what wine it is.  

4.) "I'll have the cab" so says you without first looking to see what's on the table.  I say " which one, I have 5 on the table"   he says "whichever one is the best" Refer to rule #3

5.)- I could care less about your wine stories  I have heard them all, unless your buying 5 cases, move on down the line sir.

Hugs and Kisses,

Barrel-Head Fred

Well said my friend...