So you had this wine in Europe and it was amazing. "Why can't I get it here" you ask? Well, I suspect it was probably made more awesome due to the fact that you were on vacation sitting at the Plaza Mayor in Madrid eating enough Chorizo to give you the meat sweats. Same goes for Italy, where everyone stuffs Prosciutto or Wild Boar straight into your mouth the second you set foot off the airplane. So that's not to say that the wine you had wasn't really great but there's more to this process then picking a wine you like...
Anyhow, I've just signed on a few wineries that I'm bringing to the US from Italy to start my importing venture. It's not as easy as you'd think but I make this look good. First, you have to research what's selling in tremendous volumes and NOT buy that. For example picking up a California Chardonnay and trying to enter the market with it right now would be dumb as sh*t. Why? Because if you haven't been riding that train for a decade don't try and jump on it now. The other passengers already on board will throw your stupid a@@ right off, back the train up, flatten you then ride back forward over your head to finish you off. This is a several billion dollar legal drug-trade folks not a bake sale.
So, I picked the Colli Orientali to start because it's gaining speed in the US but has not achieved Chardonnay-levels in volume and has cool-a@@ varietals like Friulano. Next I had to find someone not in the US that made amazing wines that local Italians respected. Enter Paolo Valle. He's won over 400 gold medals and has sold out every vintage, exporting everywhere except the US. Winner! Now I need to convince him I'm the importer for him and to give me some wine, but there's one problem...he speaks no English and I speak no Italian. This is where having an Italian guido on call comes in handy. I dragged my bf on this trip in need of a translator, lying that we were simply going on vacation. Honestly I don't know why he stays with me. He did his duty, Valle signed with me and we bid farewell and headed for Tuscany. My other sister, brother-in-law, and nephew from Belgium met us for moral support and I suspect, free wine. I forced them all to taste for research in need of the lay person's opinion, thereby weeding out very good wineries but that my entourage underestimated in cost. My nephew was there mostly to keep me company, acquire a taste for gelato, olive oil and wild boar. He's not even 2 yet, but is the most amazing baby and I need him for moral support. I spoil the sh*t out of him now in the hopes that he'll visit me in the home when I'm pooping myself...like in five years most likely.
Anyhow, we finally found a Chianti to bring back to the states. Yes there are tons of Chiantis but not one's of the caliber I wanted. This was the best Chianti Classico Riserva I'd ever had. The only problem is that it would be the most expensive one out on the market by like $30 a bottle. I'm a good salesperson but I'm no miracle worker. Jesus can turn water into wine but I can't sell a $70 bottle of Chianti if I had a gun to my head. We spent days convincing this guy to lower his price over many espressos, and almost lost the contract from misunderstandings in translations and my nephew eating all of their cheesecake. It was good cheesecake and because he's perfect, I wasn't upset. The winery agreed and I left Italy, and my family to conquer the US. Next step though, was to get the wine into the US past the concrete-like waters of the TTB and convince first, distributors, then accounts to buy it, or as I call it, a royal pain in the dick. I'd rather get my right ovary removed with a spoon then deal with the paperwork the alcohol division requires for importing wine. I may have mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating as it is the bane of my existence. But more on step 100 through 5000 of my exciting journey soon. I'm late for my high school reunion to see how old we've all gotten and catch up on 20 years of gossip. All girl's school so it'll be a ton...
