Super Bowl and Super Pairings

It's that magical time of year when we've passed the craziness of the holidays and can finally sit down and enjoy our friends and/or family... The SuperBowl. This year the thirty-something...forty eighth?...I've forgotten my Roman numerals (sorry Montessori!) is brought to you by the NFL, Visa and Budlight. This is taking place in NJ, so of course, Broadway is shutdown in Manhattan, 15 miles away. The BudLight floating hotel is docked, ready for people to puke right into the Hudson. I'll be at a casino nowhere near either in case you're wondering. I left NYC this morning as it was already past insane. If you've never driven to this area before, now is not the time to start. Get a cab for crying out loud.

There are other things to consider as most of us can't afford to spend $1600 for a ticket in the nosebleed section at the MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford. What to eat and drink are certainly the most important decisions and to make matters easier for you, I've made some recommendations:

1.) Queso Dip- this is critical to any serious party and if you read last week's post, there was a Velveeta rumor that they would run out. Thankfully, there seems to be plenty. They're liars but whatever. Pair with an IPA, rum and coke,  Long Island Ice Tea, or a Chardonnay (Bourgogne blanc, Sonoma.) If you like it spicey, go with Riesling. Pinot Grigio works as long as it's mass-produced and not very interesting. The same can be said for guacamole. Not that it can be mass-produced but that it can go with the same style innocuous Pinot Grigio. And no, I will not give you my Guac recipe, Katie. Sorry, it's sacred.

2.) Wings- buffalo and spicey. There are no others. My blog, my view. Chardonnay, Zinfandel, rum and coke, vodka tonic, or Riesling will be fabulous. Do not go Chablis on the Chardonnay or the acid and spice will annihilate your tongue, and if you're lucky you'll need it every time your favorite team scores. Which in this case should be the Broncos.

3.) Burgers, Brats or Hot Dogs- Merlot (yes, Merlot!!!), Pinot Noir (Bourgogne rouge, Sonoma, Spatburgunder), Zweigelt (excuse me!), rum and coke, tequila sunrise, an IPA, Salty Dog...you know what? Just about anything works here. I'll be drinking whisky, whiskey (look it up- they're different) or Armagnac but I'm a snobby little sh*t and have a drinking problem.

4.) Chips and Salsa- Riesling, Bartles and James (if they still make it), and any cocktail that's void of cola because it tastes like a@@ with salsa. 

5.) Chili- and by this I don't mean that cinnamon-laced bullsh*t they make in Cincinnati. The Bengals aren't in it this year so who cares, or ever. An amber beer, Syrah, Cabernet, a weighty Pinot Noir from Oregon or the Cotes de Nuits, Bourbon, Armagnac, or an aged Rum. Don't go for shots of white rum or you'll be calling the Porcelain gods with answers of chili and said rum. Sip something good as this is a special holiday.

That's it...if you say to me, "what about my buddy's special dip?" I would respond that I don't know and could care less. These are the five things you should worry about pairing. If you start adding chips, ranch dip and various other sides, whatever mass-produced crap beer you've bought is fine. And if some douche bag says you've paired your ranch dip with the wrong wine, get rid of him and get a new friend. If it's a family member, move and change your number because they sound horrible.