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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

February 14th or the Most Ridiculous Holiday Hallmark Created

My Dad always made Valentine's day special by giving my sisters and I a little box of chocolates. Every man has failed to live up to the sentiment until just now. Last year was the worst ever but luckily that jacka@@ is gone...I'm dating my best friend now, so he knows how low the bar is set. He surprised me by giving me chocolates, flowers and is cooking dinner. Jackpot. Don't hate me though...I've had decades of crappy dates on this stupid holiday so be nice.

Is it men's fault though that they never live up to the hype? I blame CVS, Whitman's chocolate and Hallmark. The heads of those companies got together one day and said, "there's a serious lag in sales from Christmas to Easter. Let's get together and seriously rape the American public!" Later as it grew, Zales got involved, the Moonies and their roses and restaurants as well. It's so commercialized and overblown. Unless you're planning on chartering a plane to Napa to rent a hot-air balloon to sail over vineyards while dripping something expensive over your cherished one, consider whatever you have planned an epic fail. For crying out loud, I saw an add for a six foot teddy bear. I would punch someone in the jewels if that creepy thing showed up on my doorstep.  Where has our sense of reality gone?
Restaurants are also an experience commesnurate with Dante's Seven Hells today. They're slammed with couples and need to push you out for the next miserable couple to make their reservation and ensure a 'magical night.' It's no picnic for either side. Most of the people attending have no regular dining experience, don't tip nor understand the torture of waiting tables and of course, are clueless on picking out a wine. It's amateur night so I avoid it like the Ebola virus.
May I suggest an alternative? Go to the store and buy a nice bottle of wine. Get food to go from a deli or restaurant, or cook yourself. Pass on the romantic movie that comes out on Valentines day. It's crap for sure and is pandering to the hopes of some unrealistic love affair unraveling in our own lives. We're better than that y'all. What's a nice gift or gesture? Maybe a coupon for a back rub, or to clean the toilet. That would be magical.
If you're single, treat yourself to a lovely evening...Grill a steak, rent a movie and have a bubble bath. Add a bottle of wine and you're good to go. 
Happy VDay either way. I'm going to eat steak and drink a bottle of Massolino Barolo.                                                                         

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Snarky and Spirited

Snarky and Spirited
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